Michael Gergley

El Cajon , CA
e-mail: mpg.11@netzero.net

CHOSEN TO BE DIFFERENT

Though it's not likely to make the NY Times best seller list as the greatest story ever told, mine is an incredible one, nonetheless. It isn't a "rags to riches" tale but does speak of being chosen to humbly serve a King. It doesn't chronicle overcoming addiction, immorality or an impure heart but rather of being overcome by the blessings and grace shown by He who is sinless to one ordinary sinner.

From the beginning I always felt God's hand was upon me though I wouldn't be able to understand what that meant until later in life. One of my earliest recollections of being touched happened around the age of two or so. I recall standing on the top step leading to the second floor of our suburban New York home. I had been misbehaving yet clearly remember saying to my mom, "I promise to be good from now on." Wishful thinking you might respond. Not very likely to happen. Yet this was the start of something that to this day changed how I lived and viewed my life. Perhaps, the idyllic setting of my childhood had a part in it as well. In growing up in Catholic family with my parents, an older and younger brother, a little sister and even a dog it seemed the only thing missing was a white picket fence, but we had that, too! My personal promise would be exemplified by some of the roles I seemed to gravitate towards, being the protector of my little sister, my desire to do well in school and help others and to being part of something bigger than myself. But God had plans for me as He does for everyone. In Jeremiah 29:11, it states, "...the plans I have for you..are for good...to give you a future and a hope." In order for these other things to come to pass, however, didn't mean that the paths to get there would be pain free, without trouble or easy in any way. I would find this out firsthand in my early teen years when after listening to my parents fight a lot, they would divorce, bitterly. My previous time as an altar boy would be no help to understanding why God would let this happen because I truly believed in Him whether my siblings did or not. We became very close simply because we had to. I found some solace in concentrating on my schoolwork but not much. My siblings each had their own ways of dealing with it but I know they were different than mine. I, also, looked for comfort in TV watching shows that expressed things I believed in like God, family, love and being positive. Ironically, years later I would find out that my blood type was, B positive. During this time, my maternal grandmother was also an encouragement to me. As a devout Catholic, she chose to live her life in a way to be pleasing to God despite what others said or did. Although she wasn't perfect, nor are any of us, her faith and devotion undoubtedly influenced the person I became.

Yet it wasn't until my early twenties that something would happen that would really start me to understanding as it says, in Ephesians 3:18, "...how wide, how long, how high and how deep His(God's) love really is." At that point, God would choose to bring to light something present before I was born and my life would never be the same again. It was a late spring day in 1990, and I was a bit anxious about a doctor's appointment I had later that morning. It was a follow up with a specialist prompted by an irregularity in a previous test ordered by another doctor. The specialist explained to me that I had a large brain tumor as a result of a disease known as Neurofibromatosis, or NF, for short. As I was busy attending college at the time as well as working to pay for it, I didn't have the time or energy to deal with something like this. Besides, I had already had my share of hospital visits as a child. So I asked him if we could delay a surgery that needed to be done. The real irony was that I knew the answer before he said a word, by the expression on his face. It was one I will always remember as then and there I thought, "I'm going to die!" Two weeks later, thanks to the incredible skill and dedication of my doctor not only was I still here, but I had an even greater appreciation for my life and my God. As well as the surgery had went, there were side effects from this delicate procedure. I was left deaf in my left ear, was unable to smile and left with significant balance problems that would be lifelong. The scars would always be there,too. I would later understand that these were "beauty marks", lasting imprints of God's love for me. He was developing something inside of me that the doctor could never diagnose, character.

Over the next eight or nine years, I was continually shown God's favor not by being healed of my physical disease but by having more surgeries on my brain, spine, neck, face and leg as well as countless chemotherapy treatments. Despite these interventions there is no cure. In James 5:17, it says, "...blessed are those who endure." God had chosen me for a reason. I believe it was to show those He put me in contact with, that His treasures lie not on the surface but deep within. In 1996, when I chose to give my heart to Jesus and grow in my relationship with Him, it was then He chose to bless me even more exceedingly and abundantly. He would be developing even more character in me and expanding my desire to be of service to others in many ways like never before. He took a gift He gave me for writing from my heart and made the words that were put to paper come alive for His glory. I was a simple, willing vessel He chose to work through to inspire others. What an honor that He further chose my humble heart to minister to children, making use of another gift He had given me. it was a wonderful opportunity to teach them about God and how He makes each one of us different. I remember telling the children when they inevitably asked what had happened to me. I explained that my smile had been broken but that's the way God made me and I was smiling in my heart because of Him Could they see it?

In 2001, God chose to place on my heart that He wanted to move me spiritually as well as geographically to areas I had never been before. I was to travel 3000 miles, leaving everything that was familiar to me,--my job,--my family and my friends and if I trusted Him, he would give me directions when the time was right. I was eager to know what God had planned for me and was admittedly a little scared. But I realized God had always been there. In Hebrews13:5, He reminds, "I will never leave nor forsake you."

Since that fateful day in 1990 and before it has been my desire to serve others. Yet as I was searching for ways to do so, as many as possible, to be most pleasing to God it seems God was waiting for me. He was waiting for me to grow further in my relationship with Him before revealing what was next. When I heard the pastor state simply, "Lead by your life and your love.", it was then I believe God said, "Now!" He had chosen me to take the lead in assembling hearts together for the purpose of beginning an affliction ministry one that would fill gaps in order that all may be saved and come to really know God personally. What an honor to be His hand extended! This ordinary sinner is humbled by this and other commissions from above. I was chosen by God to be different on the outside to help others see that with Jesus as their savior, they would never be the same within. In John 15:16 it says, "You did not chose Me but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit." There is so much work to be done but I know firsthand with God,

ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE...!!!